Local believer Derek Thompson's ambitious January 1st commitment to read through the entire Bible in a year has collided with harsh February reality, leaving him 47 days behind schedule and still hopelessly mired in Levitical sacrificial regulations.

Thompson, who began 2025 with what his wife describes as "unsustainable spiritual enthusiasm," confidently announced on New Year's Day that this would be "the year I finally finish the whole Bible." He purchased a premium leather reading journal, downloaded three different Bible apps, and told his accountability group he was "totally committed this time."

By February 17th, Thompson remains trapped somewhere in Leviticus chapter 14, having lost all momentum after encountering detailed instructions for mildew inspection in garments. "I didn't know there were entire chapters about skin diseases and fabric cleanliness," Thompson admitted while staring blankly at his Bible. "I've read the same paragraph about ceremonial uncleanness eleven times and still don't understand it."

The situation reached crisis levels when wife Michelle discovered Derek's Bible app showing zero activity since January 8th—the day he hit Leviticus. His reading journal contains enthusiastic notes through Exodus 20, followed by increasingly desperate entries like "still Leviticus" and "why so many goats?"

"He's seriously considering skipping ahead to Psalms for what he calls 'spiritual refreshment,'" Michelle reported. "Yesterday I caught him googling 'is it a sin to skip Leviticus?' His search history also includes 'Leviticus cliff notes' and 'how important is Leviticus really?'"

Thompson's accountability partners report similar struggles, with the entire group collectively stuck in the Pentateuch and engaging in what leader Bob Martinez calls "mutual Leviticus survival therapy sessions."

"We spend our meetings encouraging each other to keep going," Martinez explained. "Last week someone suggested we just watch a YouTube summary and call it done. We're all desperate."

At press time, Thompson was reportedly negotiating with himself about whether listening to Leviticus on audiobook at 2x speed while doing yard work "counts as reading."

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